From: eric
Date: Tue Dec  2 15:48:51 MST 2003
Subject: Life Sucks

I know some of you will have a problem with the word sucks and find it difficult to read the rest of this blog, but it is the best description of my thought patterns recently. Often I look at my situation in life and say, "Life Sucks." I complain about my lack of money, and then I am reminded of the little Ethiopian boy I support - He survives on next to nothing. I get depressed because people don't affirm me as a pastor . . . don't seem to care about my struggles, and then I am forced to face my community who is desperately trying to keep its head above water - crying out for someone to say they are loved. When I get to this point, I begin to yell at God. Like the psalmist, I wonder if he is awake and really involved in the world. By this time I've stopped moaning about my own situation, and I start focusing on other people’s pain. Sometimes I find myself weeping for the pain of my friends. I want them to know peace. I struggle with why God would allow such pain and suffering to go on in the world. Dietrich Bonhoeffer states, in his book entitled Life Together, that the weight of our sins boar Jesus to earth. Paul tells us that Jesus boar our sins, and that the law of Christ is to bear one another’s burdens (Gal 6). Peter tells us that it is Jesus’ wounds that heal us. Suffering heals! When Christ calls us into the Kingdom, he calls us into his Glory and His suffering. Honestly, this really doesn’t excite me. O.k. it does, but it also terrifies me. What kind of suffering did Jesus face on the cross? He faced rejection, being misunderstood, and abandonment to name just a few. I don't want to share in that. Those things don't make me happy. Yah, I'm going to be misunderstood. Wahoo, my friends are going to abandon me. So why am I so excited about being part of the kingdom of God, if my friends are going to abandon me and I will most likely have to face rejection? Well, I think Ruth V. stated it best one Sunday evening when she said that there is a peace and a joy deep down that comes in walking with the wounded healer and being part of his kingdom. I've tasted that peace. I have been abandoned and rejected. I have tasted the peace and joy of God and it is good. Sure, every other day I still say that life sucks, but I know that Jesus is coming someday to make all things new and I will get to leave the Lust, leave the flesh, and leave the pride of life.

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