Villagersonline : blogs : adriennelynne : upside down

From: adriennelynne
Date: Tue Apr 17 10:02:28 EDT 2007
Subject: upside down

Responses
andrea: you are loving well... (4/18/07)

adriennelynne: early may (4/19/07)

Responses (sorted by date)
adriennelynne: early may (4/19/07)
andrea: you are loving well... (4/18/07)

My life feels upside down and I feel at a complete loss of control. Another unexpected arrive yesterday. We will not be transitioning H to live with her grandma. Her grandma isn't ready...and the state isn't ready. So what does that mean for her?? Well either another foster home or with a relative she's never met in another state. It's all the same to H...going to an unknown place. There is a slit possibility that we could take her with us. At least, I have this idea spinning in my mind...the officials have to agree and make it happen.
When I got the news I broke down. I just hate that her future is so fragile and so unclear. I am at the mercy of my Lord. A good place to be, but a very scary place. Will He really protect her? Is He really going to make sure she ends up in a family that is good to her? I don't think He promises that. Does He? Are there no guarantees while you are here, but only a guarantee for those who believe and will receive eternal life? I am a human of the now. Take care of her now! I guess it would be better to live a horrible life, but come to know Jesus and be saved then to have a great life and never know your Creator. Are those the options? Of course not. Are those the options for H? I don't know anymore.
I know God is asking me to trust Him and allow Him to take care of her. I am not ready to let go. I want her with me. I want to know she is safe and loved. Even though she is a child of the state she has wiggled her way into my heart as my daughter. And I love her as such. I want for her the way I will want for my own.
So prayer for our H. Pray for her life. And pray for whether you think we should consider taken her to MI (if the opportunity arrives). Yes, I am asking for truth.
Thanks for loving her.

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From: andrea
Date: Wed Apr 18 05:53:21 EDT 2007
Subject: you are loving well...

Adrienne, you are loving H well. Even if it is only for a season, she needs someone to love over her as a mother as you have been doing. Part of that is worrying about her (though God has a good plan for her), planning for her, breaking your heart over her. She probably has never had anyone that has loved her in all those ways of a mother. I'm there with ya...they are our kids whether anyone else gets that. We are not blood to them, but they are family and we are family to them. They don't care whether genetically we produced them. They feel the care, the love, the parenting and we all see H craving that from you both.
We will be praying. God does have his own plans whether we like it or not. I wish sometimes, he would consult us. But then again, if he did, most of us wouldn't be in the sweet places after the roller coaster journeys that he chose for us.
We love you, David, and H and support your decision in whatever way you all are led.

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From: adriennelynne
Date: Thu Apr 19 01:00:11 EDT 2007
Subject: early may

It will be a couple weeks until we hear something. Then they might present our family vs. a bio family member (she's never met) in the court.
Thus, it could be one of us. Who knows. So yeah, we have time to pray and think about this.
Thanks for all your love and support.

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